Baby, infant and child loss is much more common than you think, we need to talk about it and understand the devastating and life changing effects it has. We need to be more understanding.
These are babies and little babies and ones held in our hearts not in our arms. We need time and support to grieve the loss of these little and pure souls. The pain doesn’t fade away and that needs to be remembered and respected.
I am so grateful for the strength and honesty shown by the likes of Elle Wright and Tahnee the mindful grief coach. I honestly thank them for being so open and sharing their thoughts and how they are working their way through and this horrendously messy path.
I found their brave books and posts so important, as they so eloquently provide written explanation of my feelings and made them seem ‘normal’. The added worry of a brain injury is that you are initially worried how you feel or think is due to neuro damage, on reflection I’ve been told too much about possible neurological issues that I could have most of which I’m pleased to say I don’t but nothing about baby loss or the grief process I and Chris will go on. I know there is no textbook to refer to. I have been over analysed and assessed many times and continue to be so but my primary injury is the loss of Louis.
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some extremely strong women who have lost babies and children. I’m sure this is not how they would normally open a conversation. But they shared their loss with me and I was able to relate to that pain and I didn’t feel alone. It really is a group that no one wanted to join its the worse girl gang ever which I’m now fully a member but when you are in it you are not alone and that is comforting and gives me a sense of power.
I know that Chris and I are always going Louis’ parents and we are fiercely proud and protective over our son. He brought us so much happiness and love and he always will. This week we will proudly light a special candle in his honour.
I know we will be joined by a strong and brave community of mummies and daddies.
Rachael xx
For more information visit www.louisthorold.com.
I cried reading this. I haven’t experienced the loss of a child as I have been unable to have children, but know this is an unbearable situation and it’s permanence is almost suffocating. Few things in life are irretrievable, most things are better with time, we get second or third or more chances at remedying a situation. Frequently things that appear to be soul destroying aren’t as painful even the next day, but this. This is forever and whilst good forevers are something we long for, bad forevers are soul destroying.
I don’t know if you’ve come across this phrase?
’Tu me manques’.
It means I miss you, but it goes beyond that to become more ‘you are missing fro…